Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
pray to the hookup gods
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
