everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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