32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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