Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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