is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
