Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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