Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
