You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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