Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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