Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
