I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
