no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
