using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
