Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
