If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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