i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
