Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
