I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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