yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize