The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
