We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
