why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
