1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
