i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize