Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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