You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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