I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
