Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
