Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
