you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
