I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
