So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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