I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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