Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
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I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
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One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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