his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize