You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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