East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
