jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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