I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
