Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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