so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
