you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
