I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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