He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
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I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
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he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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