Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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