she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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