any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
