thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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