No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
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