i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
