**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
