More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
