She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
