with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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