Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
