I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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