I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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