He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
